George Takei is an amazing person and icon. He has to be the most famous person on the internet. Is it because everything he posts is either insanely funny or amazingly profound and touching? Probably, yes. There is no filler.
Yet, some posts are more profound than others, and a recent post on his blog really resonated with me. Maybe you saw it since you probably follow him on facebook and twitter. The blog post was titled: “I don’t even think of you as gay.” Well, you should. Why Coming Out, and the Fact that Public Figures Such as Jodie Foster Go Public With their Sexuality, Still Matters.
I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard gay bashers (and also people with no intent to harm) use the word ‘gay’ as an insult, or call someone a fag. It’s horrible. It sucks. This societal attitude is what keeps so many of us in the closet for so long. But George Takei voiced something I’ve been feeling recently. There is a recent awareness of the gay community, which is great. But with that comes this attitude that we’re all people and so sexuality doesn’t matter.
That’s easy to say, and it’s true in an ideal world. But in this world, telling someone that being gay is inconsequential is like a slap in the face. It’s like saying none of our struggles as gay human beings matter.
Well guess what straight world?
We’ve walked the halls of our schools in fear that someone will attack us physically or emotionally day after day because of the way we look or act or who we love. We’ve been terrified to follow our hearts. We’ve been abused knowingly and unknowingly by those closest to us. We’ve been forced every day of our lives to hear that we are wrong, unnatural, and evil.
Does that not matter?
And despite all of this, we know who we are. We persevere, outlast the hatred and group-think, and eventually we become proud of ourselves for who we are.
Does that not matter?
Yes, being gay matters a great deal. While I would love to say it doesn’t matter whether we’re gay or straight, it does matter very much.
Even though I’ve been out as a gay man for years, I still have to explain daily that the fact that I don’t have a girlfriend or wife does not mean that I’m single. More often than not you’re assumed straight until proven gay. Being gay isn’t an option, it’s who we are, yet we have to fight to write in our answers when the choice is so often hetero or hetero. It’s a constant process of coming out over and over. For me personally it is draining, but for many it is much worse. It can be painful and often feels like you’re fighting a losing battle. But being gay is not all bad. It forces you to understand yourself. It shapes and defines you. And that definitely matters.
William Wolfe 