Creating our own heroes

I’ve often maintained that one of the fundamental differences between straight people and gay people (especially young people) is that straight people have a clear desire to be their role models, whereas gay people have a muddled desire to both be and do their role models.

I know, it sounds ridiculous, but it’s true on some level. And that’s what makes growing up gay so hard. The world is designed with easy rules in place, if you fit into the mainstream category. If not, you may as well be floating in space.

My point here is that we have to create our own path, which means creating our own heroes. It’s hard when we still see so many gay characters in the media being portrayed as comic reliefs.

This is why the Mass Effect trilogy resonated so strongly with me. My Commander Shepherd was a badass hero who saved the galaxy and had a hot romance with Steve Cortez. I got so caught up in the story that I found myself looking to Commander Shepherd for strength in day to day life, wondering what bold, noble choices he would make in my situation.

And then I suddenly realized that I had created this character. Everything I respected and admired about him was because of the choices I had made. Noble choices to save individual humans and aliens, to tell the truth – and even to choose to romance a male character.

This realization was powerful for me. It gave me the opportunity to project all the heroic qualities I’d always admired into a character who was like me. And the best part was, since I realized I had become the character, I didn’t want to do him, just to aspire to become more like him.

It also inspired me to want to create more heroes who can resonate with people the way Commander Shepherd did with me. The Commander Shepherd that I created served as a basis for the kind of badass respectable, noble character that became the protagonist of The Other Side, Captain Darren Quest.

I feel like this is what I have to offer the world, these heroes we can look up to and aspire to be – examples who help us see our own inner strength and let us know that we are great.

What’s the matter?

George Takei is an amazing person and icon. He has to be the most famous person on the internet. Is it because everything he posts is either insanely funny or amazingly profound and touching? Probably, yes. There is no filler.

Yet, some posts are more profound than others, and a recent post on his blog really resonated with me. Maybe you saw it since you probably follow him on facebook and twitter. The blog post was titled: “I don’t even think of you as gay.” Well, you should. Why Coming Out, and the Fact that Public Figures Such as Jodie Foster Go Public With their Sexuality, Still Matters.

I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard gay bashers (and also people with no intent to harm) use the word ‘gay’ as an insult, or call someone a fag. It’s horrible. It sucks. This societal attitude is what keeps so many of us in the closet for so long. But George Takei voiced something I’ve been feeling recently. There is a recent awareness of the gay community, which is great. But with that comes this attitude that we’re all people and so sexuality doesn’t matter.

That’s easy to say, and it’s true in an ideal world. But in this world, telling someone that being gay is inconsequential is like a slap in the face. It’s like saying none of our struggles as gay human beings matter.

Well guess what straight world?

We’ve walked the halls of our schools in fear that someone will attack us physically or emotionally day after day because of the way we look or act or who we love. We’ve been terrified to follow our hearts. We’ve been abused knowingly and unknowingly by those closest to us. We’ve been forced every day of our lives to hear that we are wrong, unnatural, and evil.

Does that not matter?

And despite all of this, we know who we are. We persevere, outlast the hatred and group-think, and eventually we become proud of ourselves for who we are.

Does that not matter?

Yes, being gay matters a great deal. While I would love to say it doesn’t matter whether we’re gay or straight, it does matter very much.

Even though I’ve been out as a gay man for years, I still have to explain daily that the fact that I don’t have a girlfriend or wife does not mean that I’m single. More often than not you’re assumed straight until proven gay. Being gay isn’t an option, it’s who we are, yet we have to fight to write in our answers when the choice is so often hetero or hetero. It’s a constant process of coming out over and over. For me personally it is draining, but for many it is much worse. It can be painful and often feels like you’re fighting a losing battle. But being gay is not all bad. It forces you to understand yourself. It shapes and defines you. And that definitely matters.

Gaymers Unite

EA has taken a lot of crap lately, but it’s nice to see they’re at least trying to do good things. http://www.gamespot.com/news/ea-joins-group-opposing-defense-of-marriage-act-6403082

Same-sex romance options in games like Mass Effect have come a long way, hopefully EA will keep pushing for equality both in-game and in the real world.

I’m not always on Earth, but when I am, I’m in Canada.

First book, First post

Hello!

I’m starting this blog because I’m excited to be beginning my writing career!

I have just published my first novel, a science fiction adventure called The Other Side. It was really fun to write, as I let my imagination take over. The result ended up being some mix of my favourite sci fi shows and books: Battlestar Galactica, Mass Effect, Kurt Vonnegut, Philip K. Dick, the list goes on and on. There is a lot of action and also some quiet philosophical moments, romance, and imagining what it would be like to be trapped on a space ship in another Universe.

Another thing about this novel is that the main character is gay. His sexuality has no real impact on the story, but I always enjoy coming across gay characters who don’t exist for any political reason, so I wanted to bring one of those characters into existence when I got a chance. It’s nice to see a gay character who is strong and confident, and struggling with something other than their sexuality. As I think about what to write next, my dream is to continue to offer the world realistic gay heros and role models.

My first novel, The Other Side is available now in paperback through the Createspace store  and will soon be available on Amazon in North America and Europe. The ebook is available worldwide through the Kindle store.